Hey Reader! I've got a message for the parents this week. If you're not one, this advice can also work for relationships—or in any situation where one person makes a choice for another, against their wishes. I use the parent-child metaphor, but you can just as easily sub in romantic or work relationships. This weekend, I attended a graduation party. One of the neighborhood dads began telling me about his daughter. Turns out, she's quite an accomplished young woman: high-achieving...
8 days ago • 5 min read
Hey Reader! My kiddo's birthday was Friday. For the record, I "ruin" all their birthdays. This year, I ruined it early by giving the kiddo kettle corn. "When I saw that gift," they said, "I knew you didn't know me at all." Expectations set us up to fail That crappy package of Amish kettlecorn was just the beginning of kiddo's terrible, no-good day. By 2:50 pm, when I picked them up from school, they were in tears. "Everything today was horrible," they cried. "Worst birthday ever!" Thinking...
15 days ago • 4 min read
Hey Reader! Have you ever stood still in an unfamiliar city, unsure where to go next? When that happens, you have three choices: You can retreat to a cafe or your hotel and figure out where the next destination is. You can wander aimlessly. You can wait there until someone tells you to move. What if you are unsure where to go next with a life choice? Like where you live, whether to have kids or what you want to do? Are you a pantser, plotter, or puppet? A friend of mine who's lived in several...
21 days ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader! Think about what you're feeding yourself. Is it healthy? Would you let a toddler eat what you ingest? Now imagine making dinner for someone you love and respect. Would you serve them the meals you typically prepare for yourself? If you answered 'no' to either of these questions, let that sink in. What does that say about how you value yourself? How healthy is your information diet? Where do you get your information and entertainment from? Typical sources include: The internet Text...
28 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader! I love my neighbors. They're kind and generous. When I first moved to our rural Appalachian mountain town, the former mayor became my morning dog-walking buddy. Helen at the Post Office reads and shares my books with her daughter. If I get stranded somewhere, I can post on our neighborhood Facebook page, and in less than thirty minutes, get rescued. I am holy because you are holy Because my needs are met, it's easy for me to greet my neighbors' open hearts with love and gratitude,...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Hey Reader! Sorry, I'm late this week. I needed to do my taxes. I always end up leaving part of it for the last minute, because I dread it. Being self-employed means that if I don't pay estimated taxes, the tax liability at the end of the year is heart-attack-inducing. And I lost the will to pay them once the federal government started to invade American cities, kidnap asylum seekers, ignore due process and trample other fundamental human rights. Then the concentration camps opened, and the...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Hey Reader! What's the most important currency in the world today? I'll give you a hint: It's not the dollar, the pound, or the euro. It's your attention. Where you focus is your locus How are you spending your time? If you're glued to a screen—personal, professional, or otherwise—chances are you're going to get stuck spending your time on things that don't serve you. Where your focus goes, attention flows. So, where are you focused right now? What has been consuming your energy and attention...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader! I've been spending a lot of time in my garden the past few weeks. I confess, my tomatoes rarely bear more than a few fruits every season, and no one would envy my abilities, but I continue on. It's worth it to keep trying my hand at bringing forth life from the earth. Seeing new green shoots sticking out of the earth will never cease to amaze me. Gardening also reminds me that not everything I put my hands to succeeds. I could read books, measure the PH of my soil, and spend more...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader! It took me most of my twenties and thirties, but eventually I learned that I can't save anyone. And maybe a little longer to learn the lesson that no one's coming to save me. But the flip side of that is that if no one's coming to save me, then no one's coming to stop me, either. And realizing that can be incredibly liberating. Who's going to punish you? Growing up, we often learn about boundaries that should or shouldn't be crossed from family members, religious institutions, or...
2 months ago • 3 min read
